Tired of that single life?
Being single can be a pretty awesome experience. You get to go about your life free from insecurity, responsibilities and other challenges of relationships. However, it gets to a time where this freedom feels a little overrated, and you start to miss those sweet texts, cuddle sessions and romantic dates.
If you have been feeling this way, then do not be too hard on yourself. No one is taking away your strong-independent-woman-who-doesn’t-need-a-man card. Wanting some company is okay. Your only worry at this point should be where to meet single men. If you have been out of the game for too long to remember where to start here are a few tips that will help.
Where are all the good guys?
Best ways to meet single men online
Online dating sites
These days, you can meet single men online for free with the many online dating sites available. All you have to do is set up an account and start looking. The good thing about this is that it allows you to take control and stop relying on fate to deliver your enchanted frog to you.
Social media DMs (direct messages)
We live in a day and age where DM relationships are no longer a weird novelty. You are probably wondering how to meet single men on Facebook, Instagram or even Twitter without seeming weird.
It’s really simple; send the person a text as you would on an online dating site and wait to see if they reply. If that works then carry the conversation as long as is necessary to form something real. The good thing here is that you have enough social information verify the person’s legitimacy to some extent.
Read this article for great conversation starters when dating.
Common interest forums and chat rooms
If you are wondering how to meet single men who share common interests, then forums are a great way to start. The good thing about this method is the fact that you already have an established shared interest to bond you.
Best ways to meet single men offline
Bars and clubs
Yep, you can meet some pretty good men at bars and clubs. The important thing is that you know what you are signing up for. Don’t go complaining about your beau spending too much time at the club when that is where you got him.
Concerts or festivals
If you are an extrovert and you love meeting new people, then concerts and festivals are a great place to meet single guys. They are fun without the pressure associated with clubs and bars. So keep one eye open for prince charming as you dance and sing along to your favorite band’s set.
The gym and sports clubs
This one for all the fitness enthusiasts out there. The gym is pretty much the single most popular source of single men and for a good reason. You pretty much get them in all their muscly glory and at their most macho states. So if you are into that type of guy, then this is where you will find him.
Airplanes or other public transport means
These are without a doubt the most underrated meeting spots of all time. Yes, you actually might meet the right man of your dreams on your morning commute bus or that one trip abroad. The only challenge here is that most people are too busy focusing on their destination to notice what is in front of them.
Do not fall into this trap. If you like someone you see make your move. If it is a regular fellow commuter, you do not even have to make any major moves. Just say hi and get their attention. If they like you too, it should be a cakewalk from there.
The best way to meet single men is through self-improvement. Literally. Take a cooking class, a sculpting tutorial or even martial arts training. That will expose you to a lot of interesting new guys also on the journey to self-improvement.
If religion and spirituality matter a lot to you, then consider looking for your perfect man in these setups. It could be a church, mosque, synagogue, shrine, bible study or whatever else.
Finally, weddings are another underrated option when it comes to the best places to meet single men lists. Granted that there are not very many single men who intentionally attend weddings. However, you could score the bride’s cousin or grooms old frat brother who happens to have attended.
Get out there and find your prince charming!
These are just a handful of the many ways to meet single men these days. Most of them are super easy and convenient. You don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home with the online options. The most important thing is to open your heart up to the possibility of finding someone and starting something special. With that positive outlook, there is no limit to where you can find the man of your dreams.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/ways-to-meet-eligible-single-men/
Breaking the ice
Online dating success is all about making the right first impression. Contrary to popular belief, this extends far beyond your profile picture and bio. You need to kill it with your first conversation and first date as well.
In this article, we will take you through how to make a good impression with your conversation. How you start sets the tone for the rest of your future interactions. So you cannot afford to mess it up. If you have no idea where to start, do not panic. We have your back. Here are a few starter topics you can borrow from.
Starter topics you canât go wrong with.
âDo you think pineapples belong on a pizza?â
A little controversy never hurt anyone. Stir things up with fun debates like the example given or whatever else you gather from the profile that they are interested in. It could be anything from a Kobe vs. James exchange to a Voldermot vs. Grindelwald friendly fight. Just make sure they are interested before you get started.
âIf you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?â
You really cannot go wrong with the food. I mean, who doesnât love food right? Asking this could also be a sneaky way to find out what they like. That way you surprise them with it, later on, should things go well enough for an offline date.
Profile picture observations
âIs that your dog in the photo?â
It could be that you noticed a tattoo, a familiar background or even the cutest dog on the planet. Using this as a starter is an automatic way to get them to talk about something that they are interested in. It also shows that you are attentive which is a great quality to have.
Profile bio observations
âSo you love to travel? Where have you been?â
If nothing stands out from the pictures, then take a look at the bio description. What does he/she like? What interests do they have? What do they want? You can get this information and use it to ask great starter questions that will keep the conversation going for a while.
Jokes and puns
Another thing that you will never go wrong with is humor. So take a chance and start your conversation with your future Soulmate by telling them a joke. It doesnât even have to be something you came up with. Just make sure it isnât something overused.
Fun personal stories
âI saw something on your profile that reminded me of this one timeâ¦â
It is a bit of a risky approach as it involves getting very familiar very fast. But with the right crowd, it works like magic. You can tell a story and ask a question about similar experiences they might have had. It is a great way to get over the boring small talk and dive right in.
Compliments; tasteful ones
âYou have really beautiful eyes.â
When in doubt always say something nice. The important thing with this starter idea is to avoid being rude or disrespectful. Since it is your first interaction try to stick to G rated compliments. These make you seem sweet and genuine and will help lower your love interestâs guard.
âIf you had a country what would be your national anthem?â
A lot of people love music, and thus this is a topic you should consider exploring from the first interaction. Again this works as it gets the person to open up about something that they are genuinely interested in.
Love, romance and warm fuzzies
âWhat is your idea of the perfect date?â
This very direct approach shows that you know what you want from the online dating platform. It is the perfect balance between being direct and being cautious. It will get you further than guys who confess their love in the first text and those who take forever to show interest.
âDid you knowâ¦â
If you are a facts nerd and you get the feeling that the person you are interested in is as well, then this will work. If you arenât sure they will be into it, then stick to something generally fun. You could go for a cool pop culture fact instead of dropping science wisdom on someone who really couldnât care less.
With these starters, it is highly unlikely that you will not leave a lasting impression. The good thing about them is that they are not only amazing icebreakers but also a great way to open up the conversation. They will get you a lot further than a simple âheyâ or âhow are you.â So get a general idea, give it your twist and watch as they land you your dream date.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/mobile-dating-conversation-starters/
Sugar, spice and everything Latina
Latina women are some of the most beautiful in the world. It is not just about the luscious locks, flawless skin and seductive curves but also in their brilliant minds and beautiful hearts. So if you land yourself one of these beauties, then you better believe that you have struck relationship gold. However, it takes a special kind of man to date a Latina woman successfully. If you have no idea where to start then keep reading and let us enlighten you.
Dos and Don’ts of dating South American chicas
You’ve probably heard it all from the infamous feisty attitudes to stereotypes on their passion and sensuality. Some of these are true, and some aren’t. For you to get and keep a South American girl you need to understand the difference. With these ten dating tips, you will become an expert of sorts when it comes to dating these women. Without further ado, here is what you need to know.
Do not call them ‘feisty’
South American women are famed for being some of the most outgoing, gutsy and aggressive women out there. For the most part, this stereotype is accurate. However, nothing puts off a Latina woman faster than being called feisty or told off about her attitude. So don’t do it; it is not as flattering as you think it is.
Be confident; but not cocky
These women are strong, independent and know what they want. If you want to play ball, you will have to put your big boy pants and ooze as much machismo as you can. However, there is a fine line between attractive confidence and cockiness and crossing it will lose you points.
Do not come on too strong sexually
There is this notion that Latina women are highly sexual. What many people forget is that the region has a strong religious influence. That means that the girls here have more virtue and value than they are given credit for. So no, you are probably not getting invited up for a nightcap and second dessert any time soon.
Engage them on an intellectual level
If you even for a second thought that beauty is all Latinas bring to the table then you are mistaken. These women are very intelligent, and you might want to lead with that if you want to stand out. Treat her like the brilliant human being she is, and you will get further than guys treating them like airheads.
Don’t expect her to mommy you
Latina women are generally very kind and nurturing. However, this doesn’t mean you have found a chef and laundry person for free just because you are dating one. It’s the 21st century my friend; wake up and smell the coffee.
Be a gentleman
The fastest way to a South American woman’s heart is through respect. Treat her like a lady, and you have a shot at winning her over. Being a gentleman is, of course, highly dependent on you as an individual or the setting. It could be anything from being tasteful with your compliments to offering to pay for dinner. Just be nice.
Don’t go in with a hero complex
Latina women are anything but damsels in distress. So you might want to leave your superhero cape back home. The hero complex stems from the stereotypical belief that when these women date foreigners, they are doing it for help either financial or otherwise. That only applies to a small fraction of the women you will meet so it is a line of thought you might want to ditch.
Dial it down a notch with the stereotypical references
You are not the first person to ask her whether she likes nachos, whether she can dance or if she is Catholic. You might think it is a nice icebreaker, but they are tired of hearing it. So, maybe don’t bring it up. Cool. Thanks.
Don’t assume that all Latinas are the same
South America is one of the most diverse regions in the world. Drawing physical and cultural influence from all other continents, the women are also pretty diverse. Assuming they are all the same, speak the same, look or even act the same is quite frankly very annoying to them.
Show some interest in the culture
Finally, if you want your relationship with your Latina beauty to work, you will have to show genuine curiosity in her culture. Make an effort to learn about where she is from and what things are like there. If you are up to the task, you should also consider learning the language.
Be bold and find love; the Latina way
Now that you know how to date a Latino woman you have no excuse not to try. Just remember to be confident, respectful and up for fun. If you apply these three principles and the ten foolproof tips highlighted you should have your South American happy ending in no time.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/how-to-date-a-latina-woman/
Life is made easier
Meeting and getting comfortable with new people as an introvert may sometimes feel like a punishment. What’s worse than letting total strangers invade your comfort zone right? Now add the pressure of getting it right with romantic relationships, and you are just about ready to explode. It’s for these reasons that there is probably no other group out there which benefits from online dating as much as the more reserved.
However, these guys and gals still have the hardest time making use of the super convenient platforms. If you are an introvert and you are stuck in this position, here are a few tips that will come in handy. That way your online dating experience will be just as rewarding as anyone else’s.
Eight things you should know
1. It doesn’t get any easier than this
It doesn’t matter whether you are painfully shy or you enjoy your own solitary company way too much. Online dating is as easy as it will get for you as an introvert. There is a sense of safety that the arrangement provides. That allows you to get to know different people without stepping too far out of your comfort zone.
2. Do not take on too many interests at once
With online dating one of the greatest challenges you will have to deal with is having too many options. Yep, you read that right. You are probably wondering to yourself how it is even remotely possible to have too many interests and suitors. The more, the merrier right? Wrong. If you are an introvert, the last thing you want to do is to get overwhelmed by the number of people you are talking to.
3. You do not owe anyone anything
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy or withdrawn or whatever other forms your introvert nature takes. However, this does not mean that people get to walk all over you or use you in any way when it comes to online dating. Remember how easy it is to turn down that party invitation in real life? Well, use the same zeal to turn down anyone you do not feel you vibe with. They will get over it.
4. It takes two to tango
Online dating is about mutual effort. Being an introvert does not excuse you from making any effort. Remember that for every one person you are interested in there are several more people also shooting for it. You, therefore, cannot afford to bring anything other than you’re A game. Forgive the overuse of sports metaphors, but you get the point. So pick up your phone, text first and work with the person to keep the conversation flowing.
5. Anyone can make the first move
This fun little tip applies mainly to female introverts interested in online dating. Gone are the days when damsels had to wait for dashing gents to make the first move. That applies even to you and your more reserved personality. Making the first move is a great way to be a part of this new age of love and also to get over some of your reservations. It will rip you out of your comfort zone and drag you into a whole new world, and it will be worth it.
6. There are sites ideal for introverted personalities
Not all online dating websites are the same. Some are perfect for outgoing, bubbly personalities while others are built to accommodate introverts just like you. The tip here is to find these sites and make them your priority if you are serious about finding love online.
7. Have an idea of exactly what you want
With so many fish in the virtual sea, you will need some help narrowing things down. It doesn’t hurt to have a list of things or tips you are looking for. Now, this doesn’t mean that you turn into a stereotypical rom-com protagonist with an actual list of must-have traits. Not at all. However, if you feel that this is what you need to do then, by all means, go for it.
8. Be honest with yourself; and about yourself
Being an introvert is not a disease. It is not something to be ashamed of. And it is most definitely something you need to change to find love. Therefore, when it comes to online dating ensure that you are as authentic as you possibly can be. It is also important to inform people you are interested in of your introverted disposition. That will allow them to get a better idea of what to expect while also giving them a chance to run while it is still early.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/online-dating-tips-for-introverts/
How to build a long-lasting relationship is probably the one question that all human beings battle with. Relationships, ancient as they are, carry the inherent flaw of human nature. And our nature is why we struggle to understand each other and to compromise.
Compatibility is great in a relationship. There are, however, certain irreducible minimums on what is attractive to humans. Kindness is one such example. Regardless of who you are, humans automatically respond to kindness. What then does it take to make a lasting relationship? Do you need to be different, or do you need to be ‘similar yet different’? Buckle up as we explore the ultimate criteria for a lasting relationship.
A kind soul can move you to your tears; a kind soul also makes for lasting relationships. Kindness is an inherent trait that should not be compromised. When you are kind, you look at everyone around you from the eyes of love. You adopt a sense of servitude and treat your partner with autonomy. Everyone deserves a little kindness.
It is repeated time and time again that a successful relationship needs great communication. Whether you live together, love each other or have been married ten years, failure to effectively communicate is the small hole that will sink the ship.
Transparency and vulnerability
Sometimes it is easy to shelter our loved ones from the world, from our frustrations and from the things we choose to perceive as our personal battles. What we fail to realize in these instances is that our partners don’t always need us to be strong. The ability to be vulnerable with our partners is not cowardice – it is a true strength.
To be transparent with our partners relieves them from the mind trips they would have otherwise gone through wondering what’s going on with us.
Respect is not old-fashioned. Regardless of how long you have known each other, you only go far when you realize that your loved one still needs to be respected. Date-times still need to be kept, the simple things they ask of us still need to be remembered and done.
There is beauty in a partnership that respects and values the opinions of the all the members in the relationship.
A triad of shared values
If you and your partner do not believe in the same core values, you have no business being together. While there is space for negative ends to attract, shared values are what will keep you together. How do you perceive love? What is your approach to solving arguments? Do you believe in marriage?
Shared values allow lovers to refer to what they believe in especially in conflict.
A circle of mutual friends
A girl is less likely to be worried about their man if she knows his company and vice versa. The not-knowing is fertile ground for worries, wild imaginations, and problems regarding trust.
Couples that hang together ultimately stay together.
A dynamite sexual spark
Sex as a tool of love and appreciation is not overrated. Most couples will point to their relationships going south when they stopped loving each other physically.
Great fullness for each other
Do you know who you treat and care for? Someone you appreciate. Couples that remind each other that they are grateful for each other are happier and ultimately stay together longer.
Affirmation is a love language most people respond to. A quick “You look good today,” or a simple “I appreciate you,” are all affirmative statements that will make your partner happier. The more we get reminders that we are loved, the less we worry about our relationship.
Ability to commit
Commitment only comes second to love in the important ingredients of a relationship. Loving someone is easy. Commitment, however, is what defines a lasting union. Commitment is a choice you make every day. I will love and be faithful. I will care for my partner. These daily reminders help you stay in line when your eyes stray.
None of us has mastered the art of lasting relationships. When asked, couples that have been together for long confess that they wake up every day and decide to love and commit to each other. So can you!
If you feel the spark walking away, chase it, go on dates, and seek therapy. Life is too short to give up on the things that make us happy.
The post 10 Essential Qualities That Make Long-Lasting Relationships appeared first on Single's Space.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/essential-qualities-for-lasting-relationships/
The advent of social messaging apps such as Facebook chat, Snapchat, and WhatsApp has made the world a tiny village. With text, you can comfortably communicate with a loved one a continent away, order grocery or even call an ambulance.
New technology has had such a tremendous impact onour communications that, at present, texts and emails prove to be the biggest communication channels in the world. Given a choice, most people would choose to receive a text rather than answer a phone call.
Unique Challenges in Text Messaging and Relationships
The ramifications of this, however, are that emojis and memes have overtaken honesty, genuineness, and clarity. Face to face communication carries with it the ability to gauge truthfulness based on non-verbal cues such as body language, posture, facial expressions, and tone. Text messages bypass all this and ensure that the message you receive and your interpretation of it are fully dependent on the intention of the sender.
The challenge we are faced with herein is the ability to recognize accurate from wrong, genuine from feigned, and the truth. Worry not. Below I seek to give you the tell-tale signs of lies in a text.
Change in text personality.
Couples that have been together for a while and have built relationships solely on text communication find ways to tell each otherâs moods based on how the other person texts, the kind of emojis they use and the subtle use of different punctuation marks.
If you truly know someoneâs text language, itâs relatively easy to spot when something is wrong, when they are sick or simply not themselves.
If your partner suddenly changes their text personality, then something is wrong. Unexpected use of love emojis, or one-word replies when they would otherwise give a sentence shows that there is indeed something they are not telling you.
Thought bubbles flicker when you text.
Partner A: How was your day?
Partner B: â¦typingâ¦typingâ¦typingâ¦.typingâ¦..[pause]â¦.typingâ¦.typingâ¦[pause]â¦typingâ¦.
It was fine.
Such simple questions would, in a normal scenario, elicit a direct, simple answer. The flickering thought bubbles point to an answer that got written, rewritten, probably edited and finally, the perfectly phrased answer sent. Simple ordinary questions such as âWhere were you?â, or âWhat did you do today,â if replied to for over 10 minutes show a need to hide something and intentional secrecy.
If your gut says something is wrong at this point, you are probably right.
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Your partner gives non-committal answers
A: Will you pass by the grocery store and get some mayo?
B: I will try to. Or Maybe.
The use of non-committal phrases in a relationship, and especially of simple favors, points to a need for one partner not to set hope. By not committing, they are seeking to absolve themselves in the eventual case that they donât manage to do what you ask, or end up hurting you. In any case, as long as a promise does not get made, any blame in the future lies in the hands of the partner who chose to put the stake on a âprobably.â
When a certain question or line of thought changes with no prior need or cause. There is something that theyâre hiding. Why else would the topic of where to spend the holiday dramatically shift to the fact that spring is so late this year?
Overcompensating in a text
A little affirmation here and there is good. It is even necessary. However, each partner expresses love in a different way. If your partner, normally collected, suddenly needs to tell you how great you are or how nice you looked on the Instagram picture you posted, guilt is lingering.
They could also be smitten with love, but in most of the cases, something is smoldering underneath the still waters.
Complicated answers to simple questions
Partner A: Did you get the milk at the store?
Partner B: I donât understand why I have to be the one to shop for the groceries every damn time. I left the list in the house. It would have been nice not to get yelled at all the time.
Notice that no attack or accusation exists in the first message, but the receiver found it instinctual to be defensive. Simple questions met with complicated answers are red flags you should address.
In conclusion, reduced number or texts, change in text tone, overcompensation and longer reply times are some of the signs that there could be more than that what meets the eye.
It is important, however, to note that more facts go into longer texts or change in text tone that may have nothing to do with cheating. Seek to communicate effectively and address any trust issues you may have to remove suspicion.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/spot-a-lie-in-text-message/
Life is not a fairytale
For a long time now, society has believed that there is that one special person out there for every one of us. We have been made to believe that unless we find this metaphorical unicorn, we will never be complete. It is everywhere from the books we read to the movies we watch. However, numerous studies, surveys and social experiments have shown that this is probably the greatest scam of all time.
There is no such thing as “The One.”
There is truly no such thing as ‘The One.’ There are, of course, great loves and perfect matches that we all strive to have in our lives. However to let yourself believe that only one man or woman can give you such fulfillment is a great injustice to yourself.
Think of it this way, a lot of people remarry after divorce and getting widowed. If they took time to heal and mourn their losses, it isn’t impossible for them to give all of their love to someone new.
The same applies to any other relationship. No matter how much you loved each other, there is always someone else out there who could make you just as happy if not more if only you gave them a chance.
3 reasons why you need to let go of this mindset
Believing this myth could hurt not only your relationship but also your love life. Here are the three main ways this happens.
1. It blinds you to the potential out there
If you are so fixated on finding this mystery man or woman that will make you whole there is a good chance that you will not give really good people a chance. More often than not the belief is accompanied by a list of must-have traits that you believe your perfect partner will have. So anyone who doesn’t meet the criteria doesn’t stand a chance.
It is not only unhealthy but hinders you from enjoying what variety there is out there. You might just be surprised at how amazing your connection is with that short, pale and not so handsome guy you ignore.
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2. It makes you stay where you shouldn’t
The opposite effect of blocking out great partners is hanging on to toxic ones, and this is just as bad.
For example, you might find yourself lowering your self-worth and letting your partner get away with things that he or she should not. All because you think that they are your soul mate and you will never have it as better than you have it in that relationship. Hanging on is without a doubt one of the unhealthiest mindsets you can have about love and relationships.
3. It could create an unhealthy obsession with a past lover
Getting obsessed happens to even the best of us. You somehow dared to break free of that one person you were convinced was The One. The relationship was toxic, and you just had enough. Or maybe it is that ex who felt this way towards you. Whatever the case, there is usually a feeling of greater loss than normal thus the notion of ‘The One that got away’ was born.
Having such special feelings for some even after you break up is the fastest way to starve and destroy your new one. You will always consciously or subconsciously compare the two which is not only unhealthy but also unfair to your new partner.
What should you believe?
• Love takes time; it just takes less of it for some of us and more for others.
In a nutshell, the idea of ‘The One’ is all in your mind. Once you let go of this notion, you will be liberated and in a great relationship to have healthier relationships than you ever imagined possible. However, this does not mean that you can get along well with just about anyone who looks your way. Not at all. The important thing is to establish compatibility and be willing to put in the work that it takes to build a relationship.
The post Believing in the “The One” Myth is Damaging Your Love Life appeared first on Single's Space.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/the-myth-the-one-damaging-relationships/
Moving from just friends to lovers
You have been talking online for a while, and you feel it is time to take the next step. Everything seems perfect. You get along great, your dates are always epic, and you can truly see this girl or guy in your future. However, no matter how well you match your approach to the relationship defining conversation may either make or break your bond.
A DTR (define the relationship) talk is something that many people avoid. However, its value when it comes to creating stronger and more stable relationships cannot be ignored. The important thing is to handle the matter delicately and maturely. If you have no idea where to start in this case, here are a few tips that will come in handy.
How to handle the DTR conversation
Timing is everything
Defining the relationship is something you need to find the perfect time for. If you do it too early, it might seem like you are rushing things. On the other hand, if you wait too long, then you might end up getting too comfortable and simply never doing it at all. There is no set time as every relationship is different but a few weeks to a month would be a great option to consider.
Do not force or get forced into the conversation
While timing is very important you both need to be on the same page for it to work. Maybe you or your partner is not ready to settle down and needs a little more time before making such a big decision. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. If either of you is hesitant, then you should have time to get your head in the game.
There is no right or wrong status
There is a common misconception that DTR talks should always lead to committed and exclusive relationships. The truth is that you can brand your relationship whatever your heart desires. Whether you want to be friends with benefits or in a polyamorous arrangement, all that matters is that you both agree.
Consider not only your needs but also your partner’s
This conversation gives you a chance to voice your needs. However, do not be so focused on what you want that you forget your partner’s needs. If for some reasons they do not align, you may want to consider a healthy compromise.
Be open and vulnerable
The conversation is likely to seem very formal and awkward at first. However, do not let this hinder you from opening up. Let your partner know exactly how you feel about them and the relationship. This vulnerability is very important for a successful DTR talk.
Make it an open conversation and not a Q&A
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when handling this conversation is treating it like a question and answer session. Questions are of course inevitable, but they shouldn’t take up the bulk of the communication. So stick to the “I feel…” and “what do you think…” formats, and you should be good.
Include your hard limits and non-negotiables
Most people focus only on their needs and expectations while having the ‘define the relationship’ conversation and completely ignore hard limits. Later on, these issues that you failed to mention start to crop up and could spell doom for your relationship. Instead of exposing yourself to the risk of being caught off guard, make sure to express what you are not willing to put up within the relationship.
You need to conclude on the same page
Every DTR conversation needs to end with a definitive description of where the relationship stands. If someone random stopped and asked you what you are after you would have a one statement answer and “It’s complicated” is not it. If you are not on the same page about things like expectations, you may have to take a break and figure things out separately.
The DTR talk is one that you should have during your interactions with your significant other. It is the perfect way to increase the chances of getting what you want from the relationship. So do not shy away from it. It might seem a little awkward at first, but you will feel a lot more settled and at peace when you have it.
The post Time For The Big Talk: 8 Tips To Help You Define Your Relationship appeared first on Single's Space.
via Single's Space https://www.singles-space.com/tips-define-your-relationship/
What is micro-cheating?
Relationships these days are riddled with all sorts of infidelity landmines. With so much temptation out there, it is very easy to land yourself in trouble whether it is by innocently liking a social media post or striking up an online friendship with a stranger. You need to be very careful to tiptoe around these traps if you do not want your relationship to blow up.
One of the most interesting new pitfalls is micro-cheating. Micro-cheating is where you or your partner participate in subtle and seemingly inconsequential acts of physical or emotional unfaithfulness. You may or may not be aware that what you are doing is wrong which makes it all worse. If this is the case for you, here are a few signs that you can use to figure out whether or not you are guilty.
9 Signs you are doing it
You are keeping more and more secrets
Do you ever find yourself keeping things from your partner? It could be anything from a secret social media account to a recent night out with your pal where you made a new friend. You are most likely subconsciously keeping these events private because you do not want to make your spouse suspicious. This kind of behavior means that there is something to be suspicious about.
Telling one too many white lies
Micro-cheaters often tell a lot of white lies to cover for their poor actions. Because of the mild nature of this form of infidelity, usually, major lies are not involved. However, those little white lies are what make it wrong.
Your phone is a fortress
If you find yourself constantly protecting your phone from your partner, then you are probably guilty micro-cheating. You won’t leave your phone in the same room as your significant other even for a second. And when you do you leave it better protected than Fort Knox with complex passcodes and entry patterns.
You are still active on online dating sites
Not deleting online dating accounts like on AmoLatina is the most irrefutable piece of evidence that you are guilty of micro-cheating. There is truly no reason for you to maintain an active presence on online dating sites after getting into a committed relationship. This wandering eye often leads to emotional and even physical infidelity. So watch yourself before you wreck yourself.
Your conscience is eating you alive
Another major sign to be aware of is constant guilt. Even when you ‘haven’t done anything’ you end up feeling dirty and remorseful. More often than not this is your subconscious reacting to something that you know deep down you should not be doing.
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Holding on to past relationships
You might have had an awesome relationship with your ex. You probably don’t think you will ever find anything like it. These are normal feelings, but they are very unhealthy for relationships. If you keep holding on to the memory of past relationships, then you are micro-cheating. It comes about because you long for an emotional or physical connection with someone other than your current beau. However, the way you want to phrase it this is an undeniable breach of trust.
You get easily irritated when suspicions are brought up
Irritation is another way your subconscious awareness of your wrong actions manifests itself. Whenever your spouse asks too many questions or acts suspiciously, you immediately get aggressive and defensive. If you have nothing to hide, then you have no reason to fight.
Pushing your partner away emotionally
Micro-cheating will often cause you to push your partner away both physically and emotionally. You will find yourself not being present or attentive when you hang out with here. There is also the tendency to avoid physically hanging out with the person.
Your close friends keep reprimanding you
Finally, you will know when you are micro-cheating if your friends tell you that. Note that this only applies if you have friends who are aware of what it is and the fact that it is not ok. They will often warn you to be careful not to get caught.
If you exhibit even one of these signs, then you need to take a long hard look at your life. It is not a good road that you are heading down, and if you value your relationship, you need to do something about it. The signs will also come in handy if you wish to confirm suspicions that your spouse may be micro-cheating on you. Whatever the case, this form of infidelity is something you cannot afford to ignore whether you are the victim or the guilty party.
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When happily ever after gets disrupted
There is probably nothing that can compare to the hurt experienced when a spouse cheats. You thought you had finally found your prince charming and escaped all the troubles of single life. Only for them to follow you right into your married life.
These days, one of the most frustrating forms of infidelity is online dating while in committed relationships. The worst part is that it is difficult for many people to determine whether or not it is cheating especially if it all remained online.
Is it cheating if he/she did nothing?
Before we get into details on what to do when you find your husband or wife on a dating site, lets first clear up the huge debate. Cheating is cheating. Bottom line. End of story. Please do not argue. It doesn’t matter if it’s the alleged harmless flirting kind or they moved it offline into a physical relationship. Do not brush it off simply because they say that they didn’t do anything.
The chances are that they are lying about it or they would have ended up doing something worse had you not caught up. As a result, it is very important to ensure that you handle the situation with the same zest as you would have normal cheating. So here are a few things you could do to help you through these hard times.
How to deal with finding your partner on a dating site
1. Be open about it without being confrontational
One of the biggest challenges when it comes to these situations is striking a balance between being honest and avoiding boxing your partner into a corner. If you go in guns blazing, you will not achieve much. Most caught spouses take the hard defense stance and will deny everything or shift blame.
Instead, calm down, gather the facts and present them in such a way that there is no chance to argue. It is also important for you to explain how betrayed and hurt you feel. Sometimes this is the only way to get them to see that what they did wasn’t ok.
2. Ask them why they did it
There is no justifiable reason for a married or committed person to have an online dating profile. However, giving them a chance to explain themselves can help if you plan on fixing things. So ask them to explain and give them a chance to finish. You need to let your beau speak his or her mind. Even if it hurts.
3. Work on any issues that could have contributed
Once you have gotten them to open up about their reasons, you need to be willing to work on those issues. Maybe she feels that you do not give her enough attention and compliments. It could be that your husband feels like your relationship dynamics constantly bruise his ego.
4. Make them deactivate their profiles
You cannot move forward while the problem persists. Therefore, even while you have your heart to heart talks, it is important to remember and address the main issue. Insist that they deactivate all dating site accounts. Do not put it as an ultimatum but make sure to be clear about how important it is to you.
5. Keep it between the two of you
You will be tempted to share your anger, hurt and disappointment with anything that has a pulse. Don’t do it if you plan on giving it another try. If you feel you really must let it out talk to someone who is unbiased like a therapist. Telling friends or family will make them form negative notions against your spouse which will make it impossible for you to bounce back as a healthy couple.
6. If you can, then forgive them
All factors considered you need to let it go. Forgive your partner and try your best to put the past behind you. It means that bringing it up in future arguments is a major no-no.
7. If you can’t forgive, then leave
If for some reason you cannot let it go then do not torture yourself. Marriage is a big deal, and it is a serious commitment, but it is also important that you look out for yourself. Considering an exit strategy is especially important if your partner has a significant history of cheating on you and making promises that he doesn’t bother to keep.
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